Still pluggin' along

Today was my third weigh-in day. I have to say, I was a bit nervous when my tootsies hit the scale. All I wanted was to lose .2 lb, which would have taken my total weight loss to 5 lbs. Much to my surprise, I lost 2.4 lbs, giving me a total weight loss of 7.2 lbs in 3 weeks. Not too shabby! I haven't been to the gym in exactly two weeks (yikes!), so it really shocked me that eating healthy was enough to warrant a 2.4 lb weight loss.

Speaking of the gym...I really, really, REALLY want to go back. Unfortunately, my strep throat/sinus infection turned into bronchitis, and I spent the better part of those two weeks I missed coughing and hacking and expelling great quantities of oddly-colored mucus from my lungs. Good times. Because I'm super lucky and have asthma as well, I really didn't want to make things worse by going to the gym before my body was completely healed. Well...the cough is (FINALLY) gone, so my (slightly smaller) butt will be back at the gym on Monday. The kids have new "babing soups" they want to break in, so we may possibly go up tomorrow for open swim. It's going to be rainy (again, big surprise) so there won't be anything fun keeping us from going. Aaaaaaand I just realized I have a lunch date with a friend on Monday, so if I do go to the gym, it won't be until the late afternoon/early evening. I guess that's doable. I definitely don't need any more excuses/reasons not to work out!

So I've been doing a lot of sewing this past week, and I found out that it has a wonderful side effect. When I'm caught up doing a project, and my mind and hands are occupied, I don't go into bovine mode and graze all night. Eureka! I think I've found a way to re-train myself not to eat everything edible in the entire house at night. I bought a big pile of fabric and a stack of patterns yesterday, so I definitely have enough projects to work on for quite a while. I'm really encouraged by my weight loss and I really want to keep this momentum going. Norah and I are going to have a whole new wardrobe of handmade clothes by the end of this! And hopefully I'll have to practice my tailoring skills by taking them in week after week as I shrink. Ooooh, I really like the sound of that!

I'm a loser.

A big one.

3.4 pounds, to be exact.

Feelin' pretty proud of it, too. Okay, so being sick helped. But even while being sick, I still tried to make healthy food choices. And obviously, it worked!

So I'm now down 4.8 pounds. Only .2 lbs away from hitting the 5 pound mark! In the past, I would have pooh-poohed losing 5 pounds, but now, I am reveling in it. I think that was part of my problem. I always looked at the big picture and saw that I had a gajillion pounds to lose (that's a number, it really is) and losing 1 or 2 pounds felt so insignificant in the face of having so much to lose. I really like the way Weight Watchers breaks it down into small percentages. Reaching a goal of 5% feels so much more attainable than hitting the 100 pound mark. And doctors now say that a loss as small as 5% or 10% can have a really big impact on your health, so I'm looking at it in little chunks instead of a big honking lump.

We talked about hunger versus appetite at the meeting today. It was really eye-opening to think about how often I eat when my body hasn't actually told me I'm hungry. It's scary to think about how much food I stuff in my face when I don't need it. I've had the internal dialogue in front of the fridge where I ask myself why I'm eating something when I just finished dinner an hour or two prior, then go ahead and eat anyway. I think my goal for this week is to really think about what I'm eating and when I'm eating it, and only eat when I'm hungry. Not when I'm bored or just out of habit, but when my stomach is actually empty. Such a novel concept, I know.

So I've really been enjoying the WW meetings. Of all the "diets" I've been on, WW has always been my favorite. Not just because what they say makes sense ("Watch portion sizes and make healthy food choices"--such a radical idea!) but because of the support you get. It doesn't hurt that I've been meeting my bestie (whom I rarely get to see) every week. It's nice to have a buddy there to share the ups and downs of weight loss. But seeing all of those other people there who are going through exactly what I am and who know just what it feels like to be trying to lose weight is wonderful. The leader, Pat, is funny and very engaging. She always has great advice and tips and really makes you think. Plus, the meetings are something I do solely for ME. Most of my life is spent worrying about others and their problems, needs, wants, etc. But for 40 minutes a week, I get to go and do this for myself. And I get to raise my hand and share my weight loss and get praised for it. Yes, I need that. I need to hear other people tell me I did a good job. Otherwise, I feel like an island, if that makes sense.

After the meeting today, Kim and I went to The Big Evil and bought new swimsuits for the kids. Tomorrow, we're heading to the Y for open swim. Probably not a whole lot of aerobic benefit to floating around in the pool, but after a week of being sick as a dog, it's at least something. I didn't make it to the gym once this week, which I'm not super happy about. But I figured the other patrons wouldn't be so appreciative of me hacking and coughing and hoarking up a lung on the treadmill. Plus, I didn't think it would help my recovery too much if I overdid it and aggravated my upper respiratory infection. (Did I mention that I also had a sinus infection and strep throat? Oh yeah, you really wanted ME next to you this week!) If I can kick this cough over the weekend, I'll be back to the gym on Monday. I really wanna capitalize on this weight loss and push myself a little harder in the exercise department. Shoot, I might even get brave and try out some of the machines in the weight room! I know, I'm a maniac. You may laugh in my general direction now.

In other random news, I absolutely hate the low-fat balsamic vinaigrette salad dressing I bought. It tastes overwhelmingly of basil. Or oregano. Or maybe it's thyme. I dunno, something green. I just ate a salad that I despised because a) I was too lazy to make a new one and b) I am too cheap to throw all of those ingredients out. Ugh. I need to brush my teeth. I have the most horrible basil/oregano/thyme breath EVER.

I'm a hot mess.

(Today's blog post will be full of whining. A true pity party, if you will. There. You've been warned.)

I'm sick. I have a loverly chest cold, complete with a wracking cough that's left me in agony. Every muscle in my chest and back hurt like there are a thousand knives being thrust into me. My nose is stuffed, my throat hurts, my tummy feels wonky, and the cherry on the sundae is that a certain event that occurs monthly in a woman's life is going to occur tomorrow, so I'm an emotional trainwreck as well as a physical one. Pity, party of one, your table is ready.

I had all these plans for today. I was going to get up early and hit the gym before going to the funeral home (a dear friend lost her battle on Friday), then come home and do a little sewing and cook a nice dinner. Yeah. None of that is happening. Well, the sewing might but that's it. And dinner. Gotta feed the anklebiters. I've also taken the gym off of tomorrow's schedule because of the funeral and the fact that I'll probably still be coughing up a lung.

But Wednesday's the day, I swear! I will be at the gym on Wednesday come hell or high water. And at least I can eat healthy in the meantime, right? The silver lining of being sick is that I have no appetite at all. (Amazing what not being able to taste anything will do for your waistline!)

I'm off to contemplate a nap. I've been up for two hours. It seems like a good time for a nap.

*sniffle*cough*honk*cough*sniffle*

The Big Weigh-In

Wasn't so big, ackshully. (If you ever notice me spelling things completely wrong and you wonder what's wrong with me, it's just me lapsing into LOLspeak. See www.icanhascheezburger.com for an explanation of why I do that. Apparently, somewhere in my brain, I think I'm a cat.) I made it to my first Weight Watchers meeting bright and early this morning, and hopped on the scale all prepared to see a nice big number up there. (It happens on the Biggest Loser. Not so much in real life. Bummer.) The perky girl behind the counter said, "Great job, Jennifer. You lost 1.4 pounds."

Huh? 1.4 pounds? Please let this be an April Fools' joke.

I was expecting at least a 5 or 6 pound weight loss. 1.4 pounds. I know I should be thrilled at any loss, but I really was expecting to lose more. Now, I know most of the people on those shows throw up huge numbers that first week because they lose all of their water weight and I am not carrying any since I'm on a water pill for my high blood pressure. (Seriously, I pee every 20 minutes. If I didn't know better I'd swear I was pregnant.) So the weight that came off was purely weight and not just a gallon of water. But still. Boo.

Then I started thinking about my eating this week. Uh oh. Accountability time. I'm guessing the tater tots with cheese and bacon I had last night didn't help. (Don't you judge me. Don't you dare!) Or the Krispy Kreme donuts and pizza I had when I was out with my mom yesterday. (Side note: my mother is the devil. The donuts and pizza were her idea.) Okay, maybe that bag of baked Cheetos should have lasted more than 3 days. Oh boy. Things are adding up here. And I just remembered that I haven't been to the gym since Monday and here it is Friday already. So let's see...eating crap I have no business eating + no gym time = 1.4 lb weight loss.

Eureka!

I'm a genius. You may now bow to my superior powers of deductive reasoning. Eating crap will hinder weight loss. (You're thanking me for enlightening you to that little-known secret of weight loss, I know.) Not moving my chunky bottom will also not encourage the pounds to just slide off. (Seriously, I'm a fount of knowledge today. Soak it up, folks.) I could have declined to join my mother (the devil) in the indulging of Krispy Kremes. I could have only had ONE donut. I did NOT need to have two. (Though my mother [the devil] was disappointed that I didn't go into that box for a third because she didn't want to eat one more if I didn't eat one more. See? She really is the devil.) I could have opted for a salad at lunch instead of the pizza. This whole "going out with people" thing is harder than I realized. Especially my mom. See, the problem is that she is just getting over losing a bunch of weight from chemo, and she needs to GAIN weight back. And I'm a big fat fatty who weighs more than TWICE what she does (oh please, just kill me now) who is trying to LOSE weight. We're like Peter Pumpkin Eater and his wife. Or something like that. I need to find a compromise that allows me to make healthier choices for myself while still letting everybody else choose what they want. So next time we're together...no Krispy Kremes or pizza for me. Mom can chow down on whatever she wants. Me, I will follow the wise words of former first lady Nancy Reagan and just say "NO!"

So, okay, I'm learning a lot. And it's a process. And I can't undo all of the bad stuff I've done over the past 15 years in a week. And I probably need to ease up on myself. Baby steps. Gotta take baby steps. (I totally am hearing Bill Murray's voice from "What About Bob?" in my head saying, "Baby step to the refrigerator. Baby steps to the table. Baby steps to the scale." Ignore me. I'm sick and obviously have a fever and delirium.) I'm still going to do this. And I'm doing it for myself. Did you hear me? For MYSELF. Yeah, other people will benefit from it, but it's for me first and foremost. I deserve it and I'm worth it. Plus I wanna rock a killer body as I turn 40 and show everybody that 40 is the new 25 and all those little 18-year old Barbie dolls at the gym can suck it .

And now...a banana, some ibuprofen, and a nap. I'm pretty sure nothing I wrote makes sense outside of my head. Just humor me today, would ya? The congestion is blocking my brain waves. Yeah, that's the ticket. It's the congestion.