Thursday, March 24, 2011

Inspiration, irony, accountability, and Jello.

Lots of words in today's title. They're all things that are on my mind right now.

Inspiration: It's been really cool reading comments from people telling me that I've inspired them with this newfound git-up-n-go and this blog. (I'm a bit of a comment whore. If you're thinking about commenting, please do. I need validation. I'm all needy like that.) If I had to pick one person who has inspired me to (finally) get off my tush and do something, it would be my friend Kim. Two (or is it three?) years ago she decided she'd had enough of being unhealthy and set out to change her lifestyle and kiss the excess pounds goodbye. And has she ever! She's lost lots of weight, works out every day, and maintains a healthy lifestyle. (Seriously, she's a maniac. She gets up at 4:30 IN THE MORNING and goes to the gym. 4:30. In the a.m. Now THAT'S dedication!) She didn't do some crazy crash diet where all you eat is grapefruit or pepperoni and cheese (Oy. Atkins.). She didn't take pills. She made healthy changes. And I applaud her for that. I think so many of us are looking for the quick, easy fix, but if you didn't get fat (or chubby, or fluffy, or "big boned") overnight, you won't get thin overnight either. I've tried the crazy diets. I've tried the icky "diet" drinks. I've tried just about everything but eating healthy foods and exercising. And guess what? Those crazy diets didn't work, but I KNOW that a healthy diet (and I hate using that word because it's not a diet, it's a lifestyle change) and exercise will do the trick. Anyhoo, not to get up on a soapbox... I find my inspiration in my friend Kim. And I hope to be able to inspire others the way she has done for me.

Irony: Does anybody else find it ironic that when you're on a diet, you seem to spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about/planning/handling foods? I could seriously spend a ridiculous amount of time portioning out food, and journaling about what I've eaten, and planning for what I'm going to eat in the future. It's like putting the meth addict in charge of the drug house, know what I mean? I'm looking at it like exposure therapy: the more I'm exposed to food, the more I'll be desensitized to it. That's what I'm hoping, anyway.

(Also ironic: the guy who did my orientation was about 25, buff as all get out, and HAWT. I felt sooo middle-aged and schlubby. He asked me, "What are your goals?" I pointed to my body and said, "To not look like THIS." That's a goal, right?)

Accountability: My cousin Lizzy said something last night about my blog and how it will keep me accountable, and I really liked that. I think that's partly why my attempts to lose weight have failed in the past. I'd start a diet, and be all gung-ho for it for a week or two, then eventually lose interest and fall back into those unhealthy old habits. It always made me feel like a failure when someone would ask me a month later, "So, how's the diet going?" and I had to answer, "Oh, I stopped doing it." I need someone to take me to task about falling off the proverbial wagon. That was one of the main reasons I started this blog--I hoped there would be people who would be reading and who'd come back to me and say, "Hey, you haven't blogged in a while--what's going on?" if I dropped off the face of the blogging world. The bonus is that it gives me a place to vent my feelings about this whole thing, whether they be good or bad. I know it's not going to be easy, and definitely not fun at times, but it HAS to be done. End of story.

And finally, Jello: What my arms and legs felt like when I left the Y this morning. I'm so glad nobody I knew was around when I got off the treadmill. I did my walk (1.15 miles in 21 minutes--not great but not terribly awful), went through the cool down phase, turned around to grab the towel and spray to wipe down the machine, and came this close to doing a faceplant right smack in the middle of the aisle. (And wouldn't I have DIED if Hot Trainer Dude saw me fall? Yeah, that would have just been the icing on the fat-free cake, huh?) I was able to maintain my balance, but I felt like I was drunk as I walked to the locker room. My poor body was all, "WTF, lady? I thought we had an agreement?! You don't exercise and I don't make you fall flat on your face. You're breaking the rules, chickadee." Guess it's time to re-examine that agreement my body and I had. I don't think it applies any longer. Time to mix things up!

Gonna be sore tomorrow. Thankful for ibuprofen, heating pads and nice, hot showers.

1 comment:

  1. Hey, I'm the first to comment one this entry! I'm following you and holding you accountable ;-). It's your old friend, Cindy, letting you know that I think you're strong, I know you can do this, and I think you're great at writing. You have clarity and such appealing humor. Can't wait for your next entry.
    I would love to see you really enjoying food, enjoying exercise, having these two things be a normal part of your life that you don't have to over think, that you just "do" because they're necessary for health and life and pleasure. No agony, no shame, no torment, no bland chicken breasts. You can get there, I know you can. Enjoy your journey. I'll be reading along.
    And sorry to have been out of touch...the kids are taking up every last moment.